As an active wedding officiant, I have the pleasure of experiencing so many different, interesting, and charming couples as they embark on their marriage journey.
Many of them are marrying for the first time and are filled with excitement and anticipation of the growth they will share as a couple and the life and home they will build in the years ahead. Others may be reciting their marriage vows for the second or even third time, this time confident that they understand the true meaning of committing to enduring love and grateful for the opportunity to have another chance to do so.
As I work with each couple to draft their custom vows and ceremonies, I often think back to my own wedding ceremony more than 35 years ago and the words we exchanged in the chamber of a New York City surrogate judge. She made our experience incredibly beautiful and memorable, even sharing with us a copy of the words she spoke to join us in marriage that day. Every now and then, I pull out the script she used (which is tucked in an envelope with my marriage license) and remember all the reasons I made the right choice in marrying the man who has been by my side through so many momentous times in the life and home we share.
We all know that after the magic of that wedding day, life just happens in so many ways. We go on as a couple, still loving one another, but also meeting the responsibilities of our everyday lives. There may be family and work commitments, Little League, household chores, college planning for the kids, and, as the words go: those “good times and even times of sorrow…” to work through.
The familiar practice of celebrating our annual wedding anniversaries is always a wonderful way to pause for a moment, through all the noise of everyday life, to remember and celebrate that day we made our enduring partnership “official.” It may be a romantic dinner out- just the two of you- a trip to somewhere special, or even a family party.
Some couples may additionally make a conscious decision to take it a step further to acknowledge their union by opting for a wedding vow renewal ceremony, especially on a milestone anniversary, such as years 10, 15, 20, 25, etc.
Unlike the copious planning that a couple may have done for their wedding day years before, a vow renewal is more often a remarkably simple, private, and intimate gathering of the couple, with perhaps a few close loved ones, and of course someone to serve as your vow renewal officiant. It involves no marriage license being filed and certainly no expensive budget. It can be conducted anywhere the couple likes- their home, a beach, a boat, a park setting, or even someplace that was special to their courtship. I recently worked with a couple who had made a plan to renew wedding vows in each of the 50 states!!
In planning the renewal of marriage vows, the professional wedding officiant will learn more about the couple’s journey- how and where they met, some special highlights of their life and times together, why they work well as a couple, and then these life “nuggets” can be woven into a very lovely and personal ceremony that pays tribute to the story of that couple’s relationship.
What I sometimes find is that perhaps one or even both individuals in the couple might feel- at first blush- a little ‘shy’ about standing up and re-committing to the vows that they made years ago. But in my experience as a vow renewal officiant, the result has always been incredibly positive and heart-warming. I delight in seeing them standing there, remembering that special moment when their hearts were totally open and unfettered by their joy in being married to each other. I see glimmers in their eyes as they recall the wonder and excitement of moments shared together over the years as an unbreakable team.
On their wedding day, many years before, the nerves and excitement of the day may have clouded their realization of the words being spoken and the custom wedding vows being made that day. A renewal of wedding vows provides them with the opportunity to really think about the journey together they have traveled over the years and how their relationship has matured and deepened as they worked together to build a life and overcome challenges. Many marriage vow renewal celebrations also involve the inclusion of old friends (such as the original Best Man and Maid of Honor), children, grandchildren, and other special loved ones. And it is a perfect time to re-dedicate your wedding rings as symbols of your enduring loyalty and trust.
You don’t have to wait for a milestone anniversary to have your renewal. Sometimes, it is a beautiful way to celebrate recovery from an illness or having worked through some other meaningful challenge together. In the end, a vow renewal is the perfect way to celebrate the past and to welcome together the future – making the rest of your lives together the best of your lives.
Also Read: Ceremonial Mechanics