Fortunately, most—if not all—couples make it through all the many “I do/to do’s” and manage to create a memorable occasion that they will cherish for years to come. This article provides you with some helpful tips on logistical details you should be mindful of as you plan your ceremony and vows.
No one has to tell you that planning to walk down the aisle is a far cry from a leisurely stroll in the park. Even if you have the luxury of hiring a wedding planner, there is still so much you have to consider, to decide, and then make happen. It is not unusual to feel, at times, like the guy at the circus balancing several spinning plates in the air.
Once you have gotten through the engagement, buying the rings, planning your wedding trip and nailing down a venue, a band or DJ, a videographer and photographer, it is enough to make you want to hop on the first plane to Vegas and elope.
If you are planning to get married at a traditional house of worship, chances are that venue will have a pretty standard setup when it comes to ceremony logistics such as sound, acoustics, music (think organist, soloist or choir), seating of guests, etc.
However, many couples today are choosing to tie the knot outside of a church, temple or other traditional religious setting. As a result, they need to be aware of some areas to consider when the ceremony will take place at the beach, a backyard, a state park, an event venue, or some other unconventional site.
For larger weddings, especially those with larger bridal parties, it is advisable to have a rehearsal during which honored guests, e.g., parents of the couple, and members of the bridal party can be lined up to do a walkthrough of how to proceed through all the phases of the ceremony. Rehearsal or not, I strongly recommend that a description or even a schematic of the processional, ceremony and recessional be provided in advance to the members of the bridal party and any honored guests. Inevitably, there are always one or two members of the bridal party who can’t make it in time for the rehearsal and it is important that they be brought up to speed on where to go and what to do before the actual ceremony.
Now let’s discuss your guests on the big day. Will they be seated? Standing room only? Even if you are having a very intimate wedding ceremony during which your guests stand as you take your vows, there may be guests who can’t make it through the ceremony on their feet. Be certain to have seating available for anyone who needs it. We don’t want to see Great Aunt Millie collapsing just as you are ready to proclaim your enduring love for one another!
On a similar note, make sure that you advise your guests in advance about the dress code appropriate for your venue. Spike heels will not work well on sand or gravel. For outside weddings in the heat of summer, make sure to provide your guests with bug spray and water. A few clouds in the sky won’t harm your idyllic outdoor setting but have a Plan B in place in the event of a raging downpour or gale force winds.
Who will be managing the sound and acoustics for the ceremony and processional/recessional music? If you have hired a DJ, make sure that he or she can provide the equipment that will allow your guests to hear your words and the words of the officiant clearly, and also the remarks of any friends or family doing readings. Your DJ should also be the one who controls the music that will accompany the processional and recessional after you are pronounced as married. If you don’t have access to a DJ, perhaps your officiant or someone at the venue can provide sound equipment with blue tooth capability and a family member or friend can manage the music. If you have a videographer, they will also want to make sure they can record clearly what is being said as the ceremony progresses. Remember on a windy beach, the wind will not be your friend, even with the very best sound system.
It is always a little nerve-wracking to know when everyone in the bridal party (including the bride and her escort if she has one) is ready to begin the processional. I have officiated at dozens of weddings and have never actually officiated at a wedding that has started at the time it was originally planned to begin. Have a plan in place so that the person handling the music knows exactly when everyone is there and queued up so that the processional music can begin. A good idea is to have someone in the bridal party be assigned the task of signaling the DJ or whoever is handling the music to go ahead.
Be sure to prepare accordingly if you are including a unity candle lighting or sand unity ceremony. I have seen the wind create insurmountable issues around unity candle lightings (i.e., even with a torch lighter, the candles would not stay lit). And don’t forget to have a small table near where you are standing to take your vows on which to place your candles, vessels or other objects required for these traditions.
One of the most important elements of the ceremony is the completion of the license so that the officiant (or you, if you so choose) can file it with the appropriate local clerk of the peace within the days after the wedding. As an officiant, after the recessional, I often have to chase after the witnesses who are being spirited away to take photos so I can make sure the licenses are completed correctly. If at all possible, your witnesses can provide key information at the rehearsal (if you are having one), so they will only have to sign the license document once the ceremony is over. Have a plan in place to make sure that the license is completed properly before everyone is off being photographed or joining the reception.
These are just a few often overlooked details that, if mastered, will make your special day more seamless and less hectic. Don’t be afraid to ask your officiant to do a verbal walk through of the ceremony about a week or so before the big day. He or she can help you to check all the logistical boxes and relieve you of one of the many other spinning plates you will have in the air as you get very close to your special day!
Mary Barneby is an ordained wedding officiant who practices in Delaware, Maryland and other near-by states. You can learn more about her business, Vows to Cherish, online at www.vowstocherish.com.